Our dear St. Mary’s community,
Thinking back on the last two months feels like waking from a dream where the images fade but the impression remains. While this lingering impression is complex and individual, it is most likely some combination of continued grief for the loss of normal life mixed with the ever-growing uncertainty for the future. It is further complicated by the way our concept of time has become nebulous and unreliable, along with our fatigue. We are Just. So. Tired of continued catastrophes and of mustering the strength to make it through each day. Out of our mental, emotional, and/or physical exhaustion, haven’t we all prayed (or maybe yelled, wept, or whispered)– When? When will it be over? When will life return to normal? Please God let it be soon!
During the past two months, the Vestry has met multiple times to wrestle with these questions and to face the reality that although we want life to return to normal, it will not be soon, and it will not be “normal.” From the start of these discussions, we agreed that “re-opening” isn’t even the right word to speak of this complicated process, since “re” opening implies going back to what we had before. All the “re” words we might use are misleading because we are not dealing with a binary process—it is not a matter of being open vs. closed and then going back to being open, like flipping a light switch. We can’t simply turn St. Mary’s back on. As Bishop Hanley wrote in his Diocesan Guidelines, we are not returning to a time before the virus appeared, but instead we are “crafting a new church reality.” We can’t create this new reality with any “re” prefixes since we are not going back but moving forward. We have to transform our way of being together into something entirely new.
We began by discussing the principle question of when – when can St. Mary’s reopen? When should we reopen? When will we reopen? We had our first “re-opening” conversation back at our monthly May meeting. More than the actual logistics of designing a reopening plan that then must be approved by the Bishop, we talked about the rationale behind why we need to reopen, what need that fills, and for whom. This why is almost as big of a question as when for it opens a floodgate of related and difficult questions. It has led us to contemplate what exactly we need from the experience of “going to church” and whether or not we can receive that from the online offerings. Are the things that we don’t receive from video services “essential” enough to outweigh the perceived risk of contagion (however small or large) from convening in the church building? If so, how could St. Mary’s offer these essential aspects now in a safe way?
In order to better understand the desires and needs of the parish, we crafted the Survey Regarding In-Person Worship and Gatherings. We want to thank everyone who took the time to contribute your answers and feedback! While the results from the survey were helpful, they painted a mixed picture of our community. As a Vestry, we are glad to hear that many of you are enjoying the video services and are staying connected, but we also feel deeply for those who need other solutions.
Over the course of the subsequent meetings, we discussed the Diocesan Guidelines for “Re-engaging our church buildings” that outline detailed requirements that must be met within the larger state and county requirements. We tried to imagine what a new way of being that accounts for all of these necessary precautions could and would look like. This has proved to be a huge task. We also recognize the disappointment and dissatisfaction that “re-engaging” in a way that meets the requirements may hold for many of St. Mary’s parishioners. It won’t be the St. Mary’s worship experience we enjoy, and coming for this changed experience might only further emphasize the loss.
As we move forward, we don’t want to be paralyzed by fear, but we also want to responsibly protect our members. We want to both acknowledge our need but rationally assess the risk and our vulnerability. These are hard choices and this is a constantly shifting balance. Above all, our goal throughout all of these conversations has been to continue to unify the St. Mary’s community even as we develop offerings that will appeal to some but not to all. Please do not feel pressured into gathering in-person when it is available. You are not obligated to come back until you feel comfortable and St. Mary’s will continue to offer online content. We want to accommodate everyone as best we can!
In addition to these discussions, the Vestry did address some other items. Back at our official meeting in May, Sharon Rodgers from the Discernment Committee came and spoke to us about the Committee’s recommendation of Tatiana Ferreira for ordained ministry. Tatiana came as well and told us the story of how she discerned her call to the priesthood. The Vestry then unanimously approved the recommendation of Tatiana as a postulant for Holy Orders. We want to thank Sharon and the Discernment Committee, and we look forward to supporting Tatiana on this new journey.
At our monthly June meeting, Louise Fortuna joined us to share what she has been doing in her role as Communications Manager. Louise has done and continues to do a wonderful job of keeping the St. Mary’s community informed and updated. Since she is the face of St. Mary’s on social media, she is always mindful of how the content she prepares represents the values and interests of St. Mary’s. Thank you for your work and care, Louise!
The Vestry also discussed and crafted the Statement about Racial Injustice and Violence, in light of the recent deaths, protests, and riots that have shaken our country and the world. Perhaps it goes without saying that St. Mary’s as a community prides itself on its inclusivity of and advocacy for all types of life and people. Yet we recognize that in this moment, silence also speaks loudly, and so we felt it was necessary to clearly state our opposition to systemic racism and our support for people of color and the Black Lives Matter movement. As the Statement says, we believe that racism, prejudice, and hatred run counter to our faith and to our call to love our neighbor. We realize that we are a largely white faith community in a city with a history of white supremacy, and we will continue to educate ourselves and to prayerfully use our privilege to better the lives of our brothers and sisters.
Finally, we offer our gratitude to our staff and ministry leaders for how they’ve adapted and continue to adapt during this time. We want to add another BIG thank you all of you – our dear friends and family in Christ – for your grace, generosity, and not least of all, your patience during this time of discussions and decisions!
As our world continues to change, we must remember that we are a community built on the radical love of Jesus that defies political and social categories, and we are facing these changes together. Even as we work towards “crafting a new church reality” and we learn how to live out this different way of being, we never stop yearning and praying for the time when we will see each other face to face – Please God let it be soon!
Submitted by Vestry member Robin Okumu
