Note: This article was written a week ago. Much has changed quickly, and we are no longer meeting in person, but we can continue to “hug in our hearts.”
Since the coronavirus, I’ve been saying to small groups that gather, knowing we have to keep physical distance: “We will hug in our hearts.”
What does it mean to move towards one another, when we cannot go to church or gather in the ways we are used to? How can we actually use this difficult time of physical separation to strengthen our relationships and move closer as a community?
When I went to seminary, I lived in Alaska, and attended a distance program in Seattle. A few times each year, I had to leave my young son for weeks at a time. This was before Facetime or Zoom; all we had was the telephone. He was upset about my being away, and refused to say a word to me on the phone. Phrases like “hug in our hearts” were completely empty. For him, either you are there or you are not. I asked myself, what does this particular human need in order to believe I am there? In order to stay connected?
I knew how much he loved a story. So, every night I was away, I would call, and his father would place the phone receiver by his head on the pillow, and I would read from the “The Fellowship of the Rings.” In this book, home-loving little hobbits bravely venture forth into great danger in order to save the world. In all that time, he never said a word to me, but now as an adult he remembers this as a time when we were close.
Think of people in our parish as individuals. How would you reach for them, say, on the phone in a way they can believe you are there and that you care? Perhaps you could read to them, or sing to them. Perhaps just call and ask: How are you doing with all this? How is your cat feeling? And then listen lovingly. Ask and listen. Ask and listen. It could make all the difference to someone who feels cut off. It could make all the difference to YOU.
