Our Book of Common Prayer is filled with instruction and with recommendations. In the instructions for the Ordination of a Deacon, three lessons are to be read. The Readings are ordinarily selected from the provided list in the Prayer Book, but they can come from other Bible selections. The first of the two recommended readings from the Old Testament is today’s reading of Jeremiah’s call from God. And while my classmate, Tracey and I, at our ordination to be deacons, would have preferred a Scripture reading of a young girl answering God’s call, we found Jeremiah’s humble reluctancy fitting to our calls to ordained ministry, where we, too, each felt like an unprepared child.
I grew up in the Episcopal Church and I think of my childhood and youth in the church as a time of learning. As an adult I broadened my learning from books to experiences through opportunities to serve in my church and in my communities. I chose activities that were of interest to me, like transcribing books into Braille, or activities that someone asked me to join, like the Altar Guild and the Sunday school staff. I certainly didn’t have a dialog with God about it. My attitude was, I have no idea what God may want of me, but hopefully at the end of my life God will say it was good enough. I hid out in my ministry, not even putting that name to it. Had God spoken to me, I very well may have said, “Ah, Lord God! I am only a child! Let me be.”
But then I was asked to contemplate the diaconate, and I knew that I would be expected to look at myself and my relationship with God. I had to come out of hiding. I poked my head up. And God said to me, “Oh, Nancy. There you are. I’ve been waiting for you to appear. You can do this, and I am with you.”
God eased Jeremiah’s concerns and said to him: Do not be afraid, for I am with you. God stayed with Jeremiah throughout his ministry. God let Jeremiah know that God would go with him where he was sent, and he would be given the words to say. Jeremiah learned, with God’s help, to be a great prophet. Jeremiah, however, was not a mannequin for God. A commentator for The Common English Women’s Bible remarks that, “There are times when Jeremiah’s voice is indistinguishable from God’s and the anguish of one represents the suffering of both. Yet Jeremiah also laments and complains to God, providing a model for those of us today who find ourselves in impossible situations and have no other outlet but to vent those frustrations to God.”
When one finds and develops a dialog with God, be it God in the person of the Creator, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, a ministry can be richer and more meaningful when God is treated as an active partner and not as a passive deity.
When I came to St. Mary’s and settled in a bit, years before I was ordained, I was asked by Deacon Penny to help with a Spirituality Day hosted by the Episcopal Church Women. This year Spirituality Day is celebrating its 30th anniversary. It brings up to 100 or more together from throughout the diocese for a day with speakers and workshops, and an opportunity for community as well as personal reflection. Serving on the committee with Penny and others was a congenial experience for me and soon I was asked to serve on the diocesan board of the ECW. I expected there to be many years of collaborative work and observation before I might be asked to be responsible for taking a leadership role on the board. But, in four short years I found myself president of the board and wondering if I was up for the task. I am only a child! But when God doesn’t speak directly, God sends help. Not only Penny, but also another woman in the diocese named Florette, guided me along with their own experiences and wisdom. I truly felt their support, and the unspoken words, ‘Do not be afraid, for we are with you.’
Ministry takes many forms. Over the past three weeks we have been hearing Paul’s words on the Gifts of the Spirit. On the Second Sunday after the Epiphany, we heard of the various kinds of gifts. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. It may be prophecy, like the gift given to Jeremiah, or it may be the utterance of wisdom or knowledge, which were the gifts I received from Penny and Florette. On the Third Sunday after the Epiphany, last week, we heard how these gifts are to be used in community. Our gifts are to work together as parts of a body; the foot is not to declare itself separate from the body because it is not a hand. Nor is the ear to declare itself separate from the body because it is not an eye. No, all are members of the body of Christ and all are to work together. Today, the Fourth Sunday after the Epiphany, Paul continues with our place in the body of Christ. It is not enough to have received a Gift of the Spirit. It is not enough to recognize that others have received a Gift of the Spirit and that we are joined together. It is only enough when we are joined together and work together in Love. Ignatius Loyola, the father of modern spiritual theology, wrote that “Love consists in the mutual sharing of goods … Hence, if one has knowledge, one shares it with the one who does not possess it; and so also if one has honors, or riches. Thus, one always gives to the other.”
With God’s love we are able to let go of our own plans and to receive God’s plan without fear. All are called by God, not just those who are asked to do mighty things. You can be open to God’s purpose for you and be open to dialog. At this point in your life, it may be time to share the abundance you have received to be used for God’s work in the world. Share your wisdom and knowledge with those who are just now leaving their childhood learnings and are finding their way in God’s call to them. And that person may be you, ready to take risks, as Jeremiah does, to speak out to the world on what needs to be corrected; to take action to care for the poor, the lonely, the sick, and the bereaved. Know that God is with you, and this community is with you. We take different paths, but we are together on the journey of God’s loving call to us.
And what if it isn’t God’s call after all? What if, like me, you just hope that God says at the end of the day, it is good enough. Verna Dozier wrote in her book, The Dream of God, concerning that hazy mirror from Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians: “We always see through a glass darkly, and that is what faith is about.” She continues: “I will live by the best I can discern today. Tomorrow I may find out I was wrong. Since I do not live by being right, I am not destroyed by being wrong. The God revealed in Jesus whom I call the Christ is a God whose forgiveness goes ahead of me, and whose love sustains me and the whole created world.”
Amen.
